I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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