Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
