I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
