It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
