i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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