The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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