Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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