i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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