Screwed.edu
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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