I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
