your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
