He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
