I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize