yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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