i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
