you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
