He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
