Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
