it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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