i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
