So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
