Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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