i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
As shirtless as possible
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
