32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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