Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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