hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
