so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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