That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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