Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
