i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
