You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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