i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I made him laugh his dick is mine
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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