well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
