I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
