my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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