I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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