What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i will never coherently bang her
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
