i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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