So drunk its hurt
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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