Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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