Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
