closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
