i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
