We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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