remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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