I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
