i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
