all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
