Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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