I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize