are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
