I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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