seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
