Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just forgot I was standing up.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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