Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
