At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
where are my eyebrows?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
