i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
