it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
