It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
